[Casey is just half propped in his lap, half on the couch. He just wants to keep Casey comfortable.
This isn't the first time he's comforted Casey for the loss of a mother. The fact it had to happen twice weighs heavily on the turtle. What can he say? What he can do?
If he knew Rue better, he would ask himself what Rue would do?
He leans in to press his snout against the top of the teenager's head, kissing the top of his head.]
[Casey remains curled against him, shifting a bit so he's half sideways, rather than fully buried and muffled. It's important to talk about this stuff, he knows. Mostly he wants a reason to keep hearing sensei's voice.]
And- and I got you, too. I don't want her to take you away, too. And I don't want to leave. Like Uncle Raph…
[He'd been here so briefly. Maybe… maybe it wasn't really even him at all. But he can't bear losing another. It's the nature of this place, he knows, still…]
I know you do, kiddo. [Leonardo struggles to find the right words. He begins gently rocking Casey in his arms. Just wanting to provide something besides what feel like useless words.
Given the whole stare into the abyss incident, he's been trying to be better about a lot of things. Not try to push Casey away when he thought the teenager was taking on too much responsibility.] I don't plan on leaving, I don't want to leave. I still have a lot to do and see with you.
[The rocking motion gets Casey to quiet for a little bit, his eyes half-closed, gazing at a fixed point on Leonardo's plastron, some old chipped scar he halfway remembers the circumstances of. Younger Leo doesn't have that. Younger Leo wouldn't hold him like this. It's his dad. His dad's here. Uncle Tello's still here, Cass-mom is still here. Everyone in the group chat- April-
Rue-
His eyes flood, his throat constricts, and one hand lifts to catch the dangling tail of Leonardo's mask. Something he did when he was little, when he needed that line of security but sensei needed his hands free. A tiny child perched on the shoulder of what felt like an immortal giant, who was strong, unstoppable, who would always be there, because back then it felt like he was all Casey had left, and he had to. That changed, of course, and that feeling was never truly correct. But he remembers the feeling.]
...We'll get them back. [His voice is quiet, strained.] Maybe not here. Maybe not for a long time. But... we will. We will.
[Leonardo doesn't press for conversation as he feels Casey go still in his hold. The familiar grip on his mask tail tells turtle pretty much everything he needs to know. Casey needs him to be comforting. To be his steady adult. Leo can do that, is relieved he can still be that.
He continues rocking the teenager, just listening to Casey's breathing.]
I didn't have a chance to really speak with Rue too much, but, I can believe they're waiting for you.
Pretty sure if anyone can out smart this fox, its them, yeah?
[Sensei gets it, of course he does. Rue's smart, ruthless when they want to be. They may be gone for now, but it won't be forever. Either they'll find Rue, or Rue will find them. A reunion is inevitable.]
I know it wasn't long... I wish you'd had more time. They'd have loved you. And I'm sure if you let them in, you'd have loved them.
[He says it like it's a forgone conclusion. (It is. He believes, wholeheartedly.)]
It would've been nice to have more time to know them. [He debates with himself for a moment. He hadn't planned on bringing this up, but, it could at least help Casey feel better.]
If it... helps any, they tricked me into coming over for tea. So, we talked a little.
[Casey looks up in surprise at that, though perhaps he shouldn't be surprised by this particular admission. He stays tucked against Leonardo's plastron, but wants to see his face.]
[Well, duh. Rue's always looking after him and keeping an eye out by default, so of course they didn't have to change anything. It's a thought that warms his heart, and at the same time leaves him cold: he won't see their face every time he visits their shop, or stays over at their lovely cottage, or- or anything...
He scrubs at his face. Our kid. That's him... and now they'll have to put learning to co-parent on hold. Just until they can find Rue again. Which they will. They will.]
[A whole hoard of teenage boys... there was plenty to indulge, for sure.
He ducks his head, bunting it a bit heavily against Leonardo's plastron. He likes the toughness of it, it feels so different from the soft, fluffy embrace of Rue, yet it feels just as much like home to him. Always has, always will.]
The one that's gonna change... is me. I'll keep getting older. It's weird for you, isn't it?
[He went from fifteen to seventeen in a blink of an eye, from sensei's perspective.]
Given how many kids they were wrangling, I'm not too surprised. All of you need it, though. [He can guess younger versions of himself and his brothers are a handful at the very best, a mess at worst. Add Casey, Hunter and that other guy, who knows what Rue dealt with.
He chuckles softly at the bunt. He hasn't had Casey do that in a good while.] A little bit. Maybe a lot. [He's honest about that much.] It's what I wanted. For you to grow up. Now, I get to see it.
Sensei's honest answer is actually kind of a relief. A lie about something like that would be too transparent, even if meant to be placating. A lot about their lives, between the time travel and the apocalypse and literally everything, has been weird. But this is an extra layer of weird.]
Well, I can guess a good amount of crying, then you'd pull yourself back up. [Leo offers back. Casey is a strong person. Strong from circumstance as much as personality. Someone who learned to keep going even when things were bleak.] You always get up, kiddo.
[He gives the teenager another squeeze.]
At least, here and now, I can help you get up. Take some of that weight off of you.
[Casey is quiet for a long moment at that. He's tired of getting up, he thinks. Over and over, for so long, so many years. But who is he to complain about that? It hasn't been that long, for him. Sensei started fighting this war like, one year younger than Casey is now, and fought for over 20 years. He always got back up. Maybe when he's in his 30s, he can complain about this.
He'll get back up. Later.]
I will… but I'm glad I don't have to get up alone.
[Leonardo lingers in that silence with Casey. Trying to give the teenager the time to think, to feel. He needs that time. He lost another parent. Another person he loves dearly. It isn't fair. If Leonardo could do one thing, it would be to make life fair for Casey.
Unfortunately, he can't fight fate completely. He can at least be here for Casey.]
If you need extra time to get back up, that's okay too. You don't need to do anything now, or rush this.
[That earns a sniff out of his kid, that's for sure. He's known for a while now that he can take his time, especially in this world, but to hear it from sensei who has for many years had to rush and make everyone around him rush as well (out of necessity, so they can stay alive as long as possible) means a lot. To an extent, more than it meant from people who didn't get it, who didn't live in that world. Forcing oneself to slow down and breathe takes way more effort when you never could, before.]
It's hard, isn't it? After so long... making yourself stop. I had to get used to that. Now, all over again...
I think it will be hard to wrap my mind around that for a while. I have to keep reminding myself I can stop and take a moment. [He won't lie to Casey about this. Not when it something they both implicitly understand.]
We can remind each other at least. We don't need to get up just yet, Casey. We can just be. If you need longer, I can carry you.
[He chuckles a little.] I'm stretching the metaphor a little, but, I would carry you if needed.
I get it. [It takes some effort, but Casey does manage somehow to muster a smile. It's small and tremulous, but it's there. He appreciates the attempt, for sure.] I'll take some time, but... maybe neither of us have to get up for a while. Uh, metaphorically speaking.
[Leonardo sees the smile and feels his heart ease, if only a little bit. It will be a long journey to being okay again for Casey.
Things will work out, though. He'll be here for Casey as long as he can be.
The turtle shifts Casey in his hold and just moves to flop back on the couch onto his shell. The worn in couch has complaints at the sudden shift in weight, but Leo doesn't care. He just keeps Casey close, and leans in to playfully nose at the top of his head. There is an affectionate chirrup in there somewhere. It is a love attack if there ever was one.]
Not as metaphorical now, so, it's saved.
[He says this with easy conviction, as if he didn't just flop back and cuddle his son like a fool.]
[Casey makes a surprised noise as they're shuffled around, abruptly sprawled across Leonardo's plastron. He scoots and shifts a little so all limbs are out and comfortable. After a moment, enjoying the familiar brush and noise from his childhood, he bunts his head gently against sensei's chin and chirps back, the closest human equivalent possible thanks to years of practice, an obvious and echoed sound of affection.]
[He can't help but happily chirrup back at Casey's return sound. Just coaxing a hand gently through the teenager's dark hair. Whilst Casey isn't as small as he used to be when Leo would hold him like this, the boy still fits comfortably there. Casey is still growing up, becoming a young man, but-
He's still Leo's baby. There isn't any changing that.]
Good, cause you're stuck with this. ['For as long as this place lets me, or as long as you need me' thankfully goes unsaid. Leonardo at least has some common sense.]
[Casey hums, not quite happy - it's still a difficult, tragic day - but at least content. He's lost someone again, but... this time, it's temporary. And this time, his dad is here, he can call him Dad. This time he's not alone.]
Good. Stay stuck.
[He sure as heck isn't moving. Cuddly turtle pile official: pet him so he doesn't cry again. He's so tired of crying.]
[The turtle continues to pet Casey's hair, careful, and measured. Leonardo is happy he can offer Casey a reprieve. Even if just for now. A moment to take a breath before the grief crushes the air out of his lungs.]
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This isn't the first time he's comforted Casey for the loss of a mother. The fact it had to happen twice weighs heavily on the turtle. What can he say? What he can do?
If he knew Rue better, he would ask himself what Rue would do?
He leans in to press his snout against the top of the teenager's head, kissing the top of his head.]
I got you, I promise.
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And- and I got you, too. I don't want her to take you away, too. And I don't want to leave. Like Uncle Raph…
[He'd been here so briefly. Maybe… maybe it wasn't really even him at all. But he can't bear losing another. It's the nature of this place, he knows, still…]
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Given the whole stare into the abyss incident, he's been trying to be better about a lot of things. Not try to push Casey away when he thought the teenager was taking on too much responsibility.] I don't plan on leaving, I don't want to leave. I still have a lot to do and see with you.
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Rue-
His eyes flood, his throat constricts, and one hand lifts to catch the dangling tail of Leonardo's mask. Something he did when he was little, when he needed that line of security but sensei needed his hands free. A tiny child perched on the shoulder of what felt like an immortal giant, who was strong, unstoppable, who would always be there, because back then it felt like he was all Casey had left, and he had to. That changed, of course, and that feeling was never truly correct. But he remembers the feeling.]
...We'll get them back. [His voice is quiet, strained.] Maybe not here. Maybe not for a long time. But... we will. We will.
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He continues rocking the teenager, just listening to Casey's breathing.]
I didn't have a chance to really speak with Rue too much, but, I can believe they're waiting for you.
Pretty sure if anyone can out smart this fox, its them, yeah?
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[Sensei gets it, of course he does. Rue's smart, ruthless when they want to be. They may be gone for now, but it won't be forever. Either they'll find Rue, or Rue will find them. A reunion is inevitable.]
I know it wasn't long... I wish you'd had more time. They'd have loved you. And I'm sure if you let them in, you'd have loved them.
[He says it like it's a forgone conclusion. (It is. He believes, wholeheartedly.)]
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If it... helps any, they tricked me into coming over for tea. So, we talked a little.
Mostly about you.
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You did, really?
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[Well, duh. Rue's always looking after him and keeping an eye out by default, so of course they didn't have to change anything. It's a thought that warms his heart, and at the same time leaves him cold: he won't see their face every time he visits their shop, or stays over at their lovely cottage, or- or anything...
He scrubs at his face. Our kid. That's him... and now they'll have to put learning to co-parent on hold. Just until they can find Rue again. Which they will. They will.]
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You're in safe hands with them. Whenever you see them again, that won't have changed at all.
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[A whole hoard of teenage boys... there was plenty to indulge, for sure.
He ducks his head, bunting it a bit heavily against Leonardo's plastron. He likes the toughness of it, it feels so different from the soft, fluffy embrace of Rue, yet it feels just as much like home to him. Always has, always will.]
The one that's gonna change... is me. I'll keep getting older. It's weird for you, isn't it?
[He went from fifteen to seventeen in a blink of an eye, from sensei's perspective.]
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He chuckles softly at the bunt. He hasn't had Casey do that in a good while.] A little bit. Maybe a lot. [He's honest about that much.] It's what I wanted. For you to grow up. Now, I get to see it.
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Sensei's honest answer is actually kind of a relief. A lie about something like that would be too transparent, even if meant to be placating. A lot about their lives, between the time travel and the apocalypse and literally everything, has been weird. But this is an extra layer of weird.]
I dunno what I'd do if you weren't here.
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[He gives the teenager another squeeze.]
At least, here and now, I can help you get up. Take some of that weight off of you.
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He'll get back up. Later.]
I will… but I'm glad I don't have to get up alone.
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Unfortunately, he can't fight fate completely. He can at least be here for Casey.]
If you need extra time to get back up, that's okay too. You don't need to do anything now, or rush this.
We got the time. You deserve to take that time.
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It's hard, isn't it? After so long... making yourself stop. I had to get used to that. Now, all over again...
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We can remind each other at least. We don't need to get up just yet, Casey. We can just be. If you need longer, I can carry you.
[He chuckles a little.] I'm stretching the metaphor a little, but, I would carry you if needed.
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Things will work out, though. He'll be here for Casey as long as he can be.
The turtle shifts Casey in his hold and just moves to flop back on the couch onto his shell. The worn in couch has complaints at the sudden shift in weight, but Leo doesn't care. He just keeps Casey close, and leans in to playfully nose at the top of his head. There is an affectionate chirrup in there somewhere. It is a love attack if there ever was one.]
Not as metaphorical now, so, it's saved.
[He says this with easy conviction, as if he didn't just flop back and cuddle his son like a fool.]
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I like this better than metaphors.
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He's still Leo's baby. There isn't any changing that.]
Good, cause you're stuck with this. ['For as long as this place lets me, or as long as you need me' thankfully goes unsaid. Leonardo at least has some common sense.]
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Good. Stay stuck.
[He sure as heck isn't moving. Cuddly turtle pile official: pet him so he doesn't cry again. He's so tired of crying.]
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Well, if Casey Jones Jr says so, I can't say no.
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