grabaslice | IC INBOX

... Do you want me to be honest, or what I think you need to hear from me?

[He... he's actually asking if Leo wants the truth or a mask, which isn't something he's ever actually done. Just always assuming what he needs to do to make sure his family is happy with him.]

I'd rather you just tell me if you can't handle something. [He says plainly back.]

[He's trying to be calm, to sound collected, but anyone who knows him can tell that... After he lets out a sharp exhale, this is bothering him.]

I'd prefer to just not acknowledge the day at all. But I can't, because Casey needs this, and I've been awful to him...

H-hell, other than not wanting to be caught lying to April? It was having someone who has no reason to want me alive saying they hope I don't die that... that...

[He just goes ugh, and mutters something about why is he saying all of this, and he is very emotional right now.]

[Well, this is changing gears quickly.]

Okay. You and Casey have a planned thing. Just don't force yourself to act like everything is fine. Casey isn't an idiot, Donnie. He'll see through it. You'll be mad at yourself and him, and things will go sour. [He says plainly back, keeping one part focused on something concrete and slightly less emotional.]

Do you wanna deal with this right now? I can kinda tell you're dealing with some big emotions right now.

I have to, Leo. [Also wow, he won't get mad. He is very good at hiding that when he wants to!!!

But that also is an answer to Leo's question to if he wants to deal with this. He has to.]

Donnie. [He doesn't want to make things somehow worse between Casey and Donnie.] This is a chance for you to bond with Casey again, but, if you hide how you're feeling, he's going to be hurt if he finds out how much it stressed you out. I'm not telling you to cancel. I'm telling you to be fair to yourself and him.

I'm... not hiding how I feel, just. You two need this more than I do.

[Like, he didn't actually mourn people who died during the war. Not normally, he just continued with what needed to be done, or in certain cases decided to never get that attached ever again.

So the fact he's even admitting that he knows Casey and his twin need this is something.]

We need it, sure. [He won't disagree with that.] I also know this isn't comfortable for you either.

My comfort doesn't matter here. [And there's the mask, sliding back on a little.]

Cut the shit, Donnie. [Leonardo says bluntly back. Seeing right through him.]

On that day, what do you want to do between you and I? You and Casey have plans, but I'm open to just acting like its another day.

I'm not... [Mmm, he is but he'd prefer to just.]

This for you, Leo. What I want doesn't matter here.

You wanna know what I did on your death anniversary, Donnie? [He doesn't give the other turtle room to speak.] I stayed busy. I volunteered for everything, made sure I was busy as soon as I woke up and crashed out afterward.

I tried to not think unless I had to. What was I supposed to do? Sit and listen to people who didn't even know you try to talk over me about you? Like they did every damn year for Raph? Only Mikey, Casey and April had the right to talk about you in my mind, but god, if didn't everyone else absolutely need to say something, act like they were your best friend.

So, if we went by my metric, I'd work myself to the bone. Do we want to do that?

[Oh, oh boy... He kind of knows where Leo is coming from, except people weren't so stupid as to attempt that kind of thing with him more than once. Because even when he was trying to be more palatable to folks, he was still blunt as hell.

So he's quiet after Leo says all of that, not sure how to even respond.]

... No, I don't want that.